Hello, crew. Since none of the rest of you is even going to dream of getting cancer, I want you to imagine a magnificent Valentine's Day where you receive a hundred red hearts from people who care about you. Think how that will make you feel. Sort of like me. Floating on a layer of love from valentines that have been coming in ever since last September.
The good news this week is I'm on page nine of Magda, the Divine. Am trying to work back into a disciplined writer's schedule. I've signed a contract with myself to at least get in touch with my novel every day and have started a writer's log to keep me on track.
The not so good news is that despite the rally of my red blood cells, last week my cancer marker numbers started backing up the scale instead of sliding down it. That means that all the cells that are going to respond to the particular drugs I was on have responded and the strains that have not are trying to gain an advantage. It was rather a bummer and I kept the news to myself for the weekend while I processed it and until more details were available. A little lonely, but I think I needed to be able to deal with just my own bumming. An occasional bumout is the price of getting on with my life. Sort of like getting your chain jerked when you've been off the leash. But that's far better than staying always on the leash by thinking daily of your mortality.
The doctor will soon be starting me on the next best drug and there is some possibility of joining a trial of the new biologics that target only the cancer cells. In the meantime, the doctor, when pressed, said barring Divine Intervention he does not see me as a candidate for 5-year survival, but anticipates he'll still see me in his office a year from now.
This week my father's widow from Mexico will be visiting us. Theirs was the marriage where he could speak no Spanish and she no English. Mama Linda is a real spark plug and is one of the inspirations for my novel.
Valentine kisses to ya'all,
Diane
Traffic Cones and Cardboard Box Cake
2 months ago
3 comments:
Dear Diane,
I have been hounding Emily for your address for months. We are both a little slow in response time, though, and so I am still waiting. But lo and behold! I came home this afternoon to find this blog open on my computer. A gift from Emily? I think so. What I've been wanting to tell you--second mom to my beloved daughter for so many many years--is that I am carrying you close to me every day and have been, sending you healing thoughts and wishes for some joy and animal pleasure in every day. I know that this is a hard hard road for you, and I know that you know you are not walking it alone. You've got more travelling companions than Chaucer could have conjured, and all of us are beaming love and hope at you every step. Love to you and all your wonderful family. XX, Cathy Beyer
Thank you, dear Cathy, for the loving thoughts and words.Hope all goes well at your house.
Smooches. Diane
Hi Diane,
I haven't blogged you for awhile, but I think of you everyday. What a lovely thing to get mucho valentines and feel the love. I think the idea of using a log for your work is great. I had to do that one time when I wasn't feeling up to par and it worked. Even if you don't get to the place you want each day, it will still show you are working. For us worker types it's important. Hope also you can find time for the healing drawing stroke. If you want to please email me your email address...delagecar@msn.com
Sending love your way. charlene
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